güven

bazı şeyler düzeltilmez, kırılır

vurulmuş bir çocuk izlerini silmez

bazı kelimeler düşünülmez konuşulur

bazı düşünülen iki katı zarar verir

bazı hayaller kurulmaz, yaşanırlar

kuşlar da evvel uçmaktan korkardılar

bazı zamanlar geçirilmez, harcanırlar

bazı harcanmış olan iki kat yükseğe uçturur

bazı aşklar ne yaşanır ne unutulur

pişmanlıklar ne terkedilir ne eğitir

bazı meyveler çürümüşken bile yenilmeli

İşte bunlardır seni kendine ulaştıran

iki

Yemin ederim ki gözlerin arkasına
iki bakışını yakan mum saklıdır.
Onları kapatmazsan dünyam kararmaz.

Trust

some things don't get fixed they get broken
a child who's been hit keeps the scars
some words are not thought but get spoken
some thought do double the harm


some dreams are not dreamed they are tasted
birds, too, once were frightened to fly
some times don't get spent they get wasted
some wasted give double the high


some loves are not loved nor forgotten
regrets not let go nor learnt from
some fruits must be eaten though rotten
they're steps to the one you become

väike prints

at once I was smitten

my heart woke from sleep

my arms curled around you

to hold you to keep

the poems I’d written

on wavetops to stay

for a lingering moment

you’d read them and say

that the hope I now nurture

is one you’ll lend wings

when arms get divided

our souls may still sing

to a tune we together

invent and let soar

to a song of forever

one moment and more

leidlaps

he didn't cry when they found him on the doorstep

or complain when love was interchanged for goods

he was fed and he was guarded

never hungry, always safe

he was cared for, he was sorted

growing bigger day by day

he was given all he needed

but was never in demand

surely he was not mistreated

just required once to stand

on his own feet and be leaving

to a life of mad success

and remember to be speaking

of their kindness in excess

he didn't cry when he was hugging them farewell

he kissed goodbye and he was surely never missed

and in his life 

before and after

he had a single sad regret

he wished his mother and his father

had never 

ever 

met

Vudeja

I knew it

If I had another chance

I’d live more fully

Turn it all around

From fear I would discover my desire

From sorrow I would manifest my strength

And having had complaints and been a crier

My shortcomings would suddenly gain length

And here I am and sitting and I’m thanking

That life presented me a second chance

And here I am more fully and I’m thinking

My thoughts which now can purposefully dance

I miss

A voice

It isn’t enough

A memory

Hardly enough

A promise

Terribly vague

A ransom

Never to pay

free flee flea fallin

disappear

without a warning

will you do it

to be free

if a flower

from the soil

should grow on you

depend

alone would surely die

disappear

without a warning

as a bird

you need to fly

once returned

you only wonder

why the tears

the solemn eye

people, friends and family

finally retreat

now in your depravity

shame is obsolete

why change the one

who needs to run

why run

the planet’s round

you’ll never catch a single breath

you’ll never win the race with

death

disappear

without a warning

will you do it

to be free

if a flower

needs protection

from a flower

would you flee?

disappear

without a warning

to your understanding wife

disappear

without a warning

will you make the run

your life

everybody knows you run

why change what you have always done

and people

they forgive

that you pursue

to remain free

the shame is obsolete

in your undue depravity

disappear

without a warning

maybe weeks

you wish to run

will you do it

once you father

a dependent baby son

if a flower needs protection

will you raise it

to the bloom

if you run

without a warning

our blossom faces doom

novacasa

empty with a hint of desperation

easily the prettiest of all

I wonder if I grant her satisfaction

could I for my attention make her crawl

vacant are her eyes to most observers

I for one see searchlight in their gaze

all the desperation that concerns her

I could almost certainly erase

and after she’s reborn in my affection

day by day more restless would I grow

surely if she senses my rejection

boredom of our perfect status quo

surely she would shed a hundred teardrops

surely I would further pull away

empty with a hint of desperation

again she’d be tomorrow or today

what a poor dependent love forsaken lady

yet easily the prettiest of all

one day she will grow stonger and then maybe

once more and far more deeply I would fall

loving her is effortlessly easy

loving she is bound to be fulfilled

I miss her and believe me it would please me

to see her shining happy. and she will.

papa

he really loved the children

one happy family

he really loved the children

so unmistakably

he really loved the children

confused and teary-eyed

he really loved the children

but never quite said why

he really loved the children

so fragile, pure and slim

he really loved the children

blue spots and boney limbs

he really loved the children

whose souls he tore apart

he really loved the children

their silent trustful heart

he really loved the children

their secrets so well kept

from all the love the children

they wept. and wept. and wept.

now

the present is

when you’re totally present

with the present

of the present.

do you like your present,

my present?

am I your present

cause you surely are mine

a present

from the present

of the present

that I love

paneelmaja

kevadõhtu

hõiked, millest suudan eraldada vaid

õllelõhna ja

üksteise ületrumpamise ühtekuuluvust

paaritumistantsud. meelitatud naer

tubakavärvid ja lõhnakõned

praksuvad siidripurgid maniküüritud käed

millal nad magama lähevad?

Millal nad üles ärkavad?

Ja kuhu viib neid hommikune rong?

Tulnukas

I recall

to me a stranger was born
I held my
baby but felt no connection
affection

is it oh is it
a girl or a boy
is she or is he
a child or a toy

I want to give you my Love..!
but I don't even know who you are!!!

oh... but she was so special...
oh yeah, she was...
oh he was so special
he was so wise

X-raying...
desires and fears
with...
her heart, mind, soul and eyes

is she or is he 
a girl or a boy
am I his mother 
or am I her toy

alien babies
are born more today
cameleon babies 
born to x-ray

alien babies 
our mirror is here
cameleon children
re-appear

alien babies 
they mean you no harm
by changing us as
they kiss and disarm

monodialogue

on the great journey of self discovery one must realize what it is that makes him tick... what it is that we can identify with. our will? our ways? our shiny hair?

our pain? our love? our sense of fair?

our notions all of right and wrong?

or with our soul? where we belong?

so... even if we never manage to fit our self in words... perhaps the goal is to stop trying.

we are.

what more is there to say?

well, I'm a woman

able to talk 

endlessly,

for days.

and there you go.

new poem.

drumroll, please.

___________________________________________________

emotions

they are dumb

and mind

erroneous

while heart

is resolute

how strange...

most days I 'm able to

both master my emotions

and then control my mind

my silly little heart alone

has little sight, is blind...

it only wants to love

how strange

emotions like a passing wind

blow left and all around

my mind is strange

once in a while

I get lost in it's ways

a tree with branches stretching wide

leaves dancing in a breeze

how strange there do occur the days

when I can master both

and please

my yearning for control

and then

my heart

poor little child

has little discipline

poor little heart

too open wide

too weak, too weak for me

"go left"

I say

and it turns right

"come back"

it leaves without a sight

oh heart

did you not hear what I commanded you to do?

oh heart, you silly little thing

why won't you ever listen to

my thoughts

why don't you ever follow through

with that which I must do?

why not? the heart replies

to me you rarely speak at all

or hear my good advice

you only worry

contemplate

over a pair of rolling dice

you barely listen to my truth

and of that truth,

"dreckitude"

the most of it declare

I only do react in ways I thought you would think fair

accept what you can never change

I stand free in all my ways

of love I only know to speak

if that's what you say makes me weak

my dear

you must be right

but love, we shouldn't fight

okay?

Aşk

Shakespeare’s but a shadow

of the feelings you induce

though my words, too, they do fall short

to silence I refuse

there’s not a language I have heard

or thought I’d bring myself to learn

that now I use

invent with you

I never thought I may find life

so hard

to fit in words

I never thought I’d find a life

so far

from reaching words

I guess I could come to describe

the motions

or the smells

or tell someone you are the one

and smile

hope they can tell

that they have, too, faced life events

that language fails to replicate

that life indeed is bigger than

ourselves and beyond death

that there are moments we survive

without a single breath

to feed

our lungs

there’s something else that makes us be

we’ve suffered much to phrase

to put in words

to fit in clay

to reach, materialize

but those who would keep still

amazed

I think

were rather wise

some things in life you know you just

can never perfectly describe

they wouldn’t fit the vowels or the consonants

or art

or music, though at hinting stuff

it has a major part

a pair of eyes

I can’t describe

have silently begun

to pull me to an endless space

post words

pre-birth

of love